Lamp Thoughts

As a businesswoman, I had to post something about the fuckery that went down on RHOA last night. If you haven’t seen the episode, just stop reading. Put on your headphones at work and go to Project Free TV and stream that shit while your boss is in a meeting. Then, come back.

So…….

Kenya is butt-hurt because Phaedra does not want to pay her 10% of the proceeds from a business deal that she is trying to broker. Kenya has two options:

1.            If you’re really a boss bitch and $10,000 is really a “drop in the bucket” to you (since you “only wear $1,000” shoes), move on a find another sucker who is willing to pay 10% of all proceeds in perpetuity…

2.            Bitch, twirl and bitch some more to ANYONE who will listen about how you are worth at least 10% for a business deal.

Which do you think Kenya did?

While she stomped out of Phaedra’s office in those two-sizes-too-small, run-down, Madden Girl platforms (street value - $29 at Chernin’s Shoe Outlet) with her cheese-grated toes, she claimed to be over the whole project. 

Here’s the thing…

If you are a savvy businessperson, you create a network of referrals that you pass business to, and vice-versa. Let’s pretend I own Rumpshaker Productions, and I make workout videos for the donktastic. If I was in Kenya’s network of referrals, and she came to me about the Donkey Booty video, I would quote her a price on creating the video. If I quoted her $90,000 (which is ridiculously high), and Kenya wanted 10% off the deal, she should have tacked on her 10% and presented it to Phaedra & Apollo. THIS IS HOW THE PROFESSIONALS DO IT.

Plus, it is MUCH MORE risky to try to get paid on the back-end. What if a logistical issue (a fancy term for bullshit) occurs and the video doesn’t get launched for another 12-24 months? Bitch gon’ be sleeping on an air mattress and eating Struggle Meals from KFC like Sheree. What will your $1,000 shoes do for you then, Kenya? Will Christian Louboutin keep your wig tight? Will Jimmy Choo give a fuck if your Yaris gets repoed? 

Kenya needs an MBA (or someone with some damn business sense) to handle her affairs, because she could have made 10% without opening her mouth if she was smart. 

Mandeecees? Who in the blue hell would name their child Mandeecess?

Is it his real name? I can’t imagine a name so bad, that you would change your name to Mandeecees.

He’s an aspiring rapper? How to you make that rhyme with anything other than “testes” and “Reece’s [Pieces]”?

And…if I hear him say “fawvuh” one more time, I’m going to clamp his tongue with a pair of pliers. Just say “dad”, nigga.